You're Nicked My Son of a Camel!

Police are apparently investigating after Crystal Palace fans unfurled a banner critical of Newcastle United's new owners at the game with the Magpies at St James' Park.

Why? Did the banner say whoever bought Newcastle must, by definition, be a twat? Did it read: "Fuck You, You're All Wankers!" No, surprisingly not.

What it actually said was that the human rights record of the country behind the acquisition of the club was appalling!

You see, the consortium which stumped up £305 million for the purchase is led, to all intents and purposes, by Saudi Arabia's ruling royal family.

Saudi Arabia? You know, hot place, sand, loads of oil, stinkingly rich sheiks? Where they assassinate journalists they don't like, torture, execute, ban free speech and protests, cut off hands and heads and subjugate women? You must have heard of it?

What a refreshing change then. Banners at our football games used to say things like "Rooney Shags Grannies", "Derby Sheep Shaggers" and "You're Going Down With An Overdraft" (just a slight bias there, courtesy of the team I support).

Not anymore. Palace obviously have some more intelligent and socially aware fans. Their supposedly offending banner proclaimed "Premier League Owners' Test - Torture, Beheading, Civil Rights Abuses, Murder, Censorship and Persecution."

A man was also depicted in Arab gear, holding a bloodied sword.

There was also a banner which read "Alan Shearer Is A Bellend" but I don't think that's under investigation.

You've gotta laugh. Just days ago the grovelling toady officials at Newcastle urged fans not to don Arab headdresses or traditional Middle Eastern garb, assumedly to avoid offending the new  owners.https://draft.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/preview/661014602266362710/2671825679686655938

They didn't foresee visiting fans pointing out those owners were responsible for horrific abuses. Makes the Geordie Lawrence of Arabias seem a bit tame now. I wonder what they thought? "Hi Kingy. I think we've fucked up here old son -SEND"?

What caught my eye though was that reports of the incident said "Police are investigating".

Dear Croydon Metropolitan Police,

I was interested to read that you were carrying out an investigation into a banner displayed by some Crystal Palace fans during their team's game against Newcastle United yesterday (Saturday, October 23).

You said in a statement that any allegations of racist abuse would be taken "very seriously". 

I'm keen to know one thing - racist abuse by whom? Crystal Palace fans or the ruling Saudi Arabian royal family which is ostensibly the new owner of Newcastle United?

The banner pointed out THE FACT that the Saudi Arabian regime is accused of horrific abuses, including racist and others of a human rights nature. 

I don't believe statements of fact are against the law. Torture, murder, beheadings and floggings are, however.

May I assume then that your investigation will be into the Saudi royal family?

I look forward to hearing from you soon,

Reg.