Anti-social Media.

Facebook and Twitter - do we really need them? Notice "need", not "want".

Now, there is just the teensiest, weensiest flaw in the argument I am about to put forward but I'll come to that later.

In the meantime, the way I see it is that half of all social media is taken up with posts and tweets about meals people have just cooked or are about to eat or enthralling messages saying "Bought a genuine rubber camel and now chillaxing by the hotel pool", "Wee grandson Tyler has just had his first solo shit" or "Wazaaaap! Me and Bazza and Gazza and Dazza 'avin' it large at the Castrated Pelican in town"!

Meanwhile, the other half is full of vile tirades from seriously psychotic individuals who hurl abuse or threaten violence and even death to anyone who dares not share their views! Witness a 76-year-old codger - yes, that's right, 76! - being arrested for sending a death threat to Chris Bryant because, wait for this, the Labour MP dared called on people to be kind to each other following the murder of Conservative MP David Amess.

Members of Parliament across the political divides have been speaking out about the sick and terrifying threats which many say they receive on a daily basis.

They are not alone. I came off almost all social media following constant abuse and venom spat out over Brexit and politics in general. I was persuaded to join WhatsApp, but only to keep track of arrangements for a school reunion. I may well abandon it after the get-together.

"Oh Reg, but social media is vital for work!" No it isn't. People coped before it. They will cope without it.

"Besides, there are so many downsides to binning Facebook and Twitter." Really? Listen, assassinating Hitler at birth would have robbed the world of a dog lover, a would be artist and a snappy dresser but..............

I used to think it was impossible to scrap social media. I believed that, like junk mail, smaller Wagon Wheels and sales at DFS, it was here to stay now so we'd better get used to it. Then, two weeks ago, Facebook, WhatsApp and Instagram crashed, leaving people actually having to talk to each other away from the internet. So, there IS an off switch, there IS a plug. Failing that, we could get the bloke who rewired my garage to go and take a look at the systems. He'd fuck it up in just half a day and then "have to get off for a stag do".

Can you imagine? Our kids would actually have to talk to one another, in whole sentences. Teenagers thought dead for years would emerge from bedrooms into the broad, sunlit uplands. Men aged 76 who wanted to threaten you would have to do it face to face, leaving you free to hit them over the head with a shovel when they did.

Now for that tiny flaw I mentioned at the beginning. BLOGS ARE SOCIAL MEDIA! Ok, you got me there. I am an offender BUT I have never threatened anyone on here, let alone vowed to kill them. All the same I would not be put out in the slightest if the plug was pulled on my drivel in a worldwide cull of social media.

Back to the argument. The dark lords of these loathesome cyber sites - Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook, Jack Dorsey of Twitter and Sundar Pichai of Google's parent company Alphabet - all operate in the good ol' US of A and so that is where the snake's head to be struck at can be found:

Dear President Biden,

Sorry to bother you again but social media is out of control. I really don't have to tell you that after it featured prominently in whipping up the mob which stormed the Capitol and is now being used to convince half of your country that lizard paedophiles are running things and Bill Gates is using vaccination against Covid as a way of implanting microchips in people's brains.

Chief among the offenders are Facebook, Twitter and Google. Now, Facebook and Twitter banned Trump so surely EVERYONE can be banned? Just hit "select all" and "delete"?

Failing the voluntary eradication of these systems, might I suggest you get Messrs Zuckerberg, Dorsey and Pichai together in a room, attach electrodes to their genitals and then invite them to co-operate?

I look forward to hearing from you soon,

Reg.