Kanye See What He Did There?

Rapper Kanye West has legally changed his name to Ye, pronounced "Yay".

The musical superstar (Really? Ed) has said in the past that he believed Ye to be the most commonly used word in the Bible and it meant "you".

A tad pretentiously he added: "So, I'm you and I'm us. It's us." God alone knows what that fucking means!

On a point of information, the King James Bible online doesn't rank "Ye" at number one. In fact it trails in limply at number 40, just behind, I imagine, Volkswagen and Tesco.

Top of the hit parade is, not surprisingly, "Lord" (7,759 mentions) while number two and even more predictably is "God" (3,977).

So, off on a sound footing there mate!

The guy was not in my good books to start with when I realised his former first name was not in fact "Kayne". If it had been, bearing in mind his religious inspiration, I would have entitled this piece Oh Kayne All "Ye" Faithful and then retired to live in the Bahamas.

He is now in my Dumb People index as I don't think he quite realises what he's done:

Dear Ye,

I believe your name change can best be termed "ill advised".

I know it's popular in the rap world to change your name but, apart from having to pay to have all your stationery and the name labels in your underpants altered, you do realise you are now lower alphabetically, dropping from W to Y?

Have you thought that could be a big disadvantage? According to your industry's foremost promoter, MTv: "Studies and surveys suggest having last names at the end of the alphabet could adversely affect one's psychology, financial status and career prospects."

Secondly, have you considered the pain this change will inflict on your army of adoring fans? You have now compelled them to endure excruciating sessions in which acid, carbolic, wire wool and scalpels will have to be used to remove your tattooed old monika from their bellies, bottoms, breasts and bellends.

Finally, if "you" are now "us", isn't your income going to plummet once you start dividing up your music earnings?

Please reconsider your decision. I feel a tad red-faced at having to move you behind The Worzels and The Wombles in my record collection.

Rock on,

Reg.