A, B, C - Easy As 1,2,3?

I'm lost! This Covid thing. 

There is a load of hoo-ha-ing going on now about "Plan B". "Should we activate Plan B?" "Will Plan B spell ruin?" "We need Plan B".

I don't think I'm alone in this but I didn't know there WAS a Plan B. I just naturally assumed there was A plan, not Plan A. Things today got even more alphabetically confusing when Health Minister Edward Argar denied there was also a "Plan C" - which means there is one!

Dear Mr Argar,

While you wrestle with the dilemma of whether or not to roll out Plan B and face challenges that a Plan C is in the offing, would you tell me what Plan A was? - I've forgotten.

I thought it was to combat the menace of a Covid pandemic? I didn't know it was a "Barry In Accounts Has Come Up With This Plan Which Might Be Crap But, Ho-Hum, Fingers Crossed Plan".

Plan B I assume then is an "OK, We Ballsed Up the Last Plan Because Barry's An Idiot But This Plan's Gotta Work, Surely, Plan? As for Plan C, I shudder to think.

Even more alarming would be to sneak a peek through your filing cabinet. Would I find? :-

Plan D: Everyone to stay at home unless answering the door to the man with the cart shouting "Bring out your dead!"

Plan J: MPs to arrange flights to moon on Branson's rocket and leave behind "so long and best of luck" message for constituents.

Plan T:  E-mail four UK survivors advising them to keep socially distanced and always wear a mask.

Plan Z: Do something which actually works.

Is this how you approach everything? I mean, do you give your staff seven options when asking them what day it is? Do you insist your secretary ploughs through a list of MPs before telling you what your own name is? Is your wife offered 47 choices of how to reply when you say "I'm home dear"?

Any chance you could concentrate less on the alphabet and more on tackling the pandemic? Option A = Yes, Option B..........

I look forward to hearing from you.

Best wishes,

Reg.