Comrade Swayne

With the Tories facing allegations that their coffers were swelled by billionaire swindlers, fraudsters and associated crooks The Guardian newspaper thought it might be a good idea to get the views of that well known advocate of hanging (in public) Sir Desmond Swayne (Munich Central).

The Tory zealot decided to bat off the questions by merely telling the paper's reporter "Yes comrade" and "Thank you comrade". I thought that warranted a note to the old right-wing nutjob.

Dear Comrade Sir,

I was surprised to see you had aligned yourself to the Communist agenda by using the term "comrade" while refusing to answer questions from The Guardian about dubious contributions to the Conservative Party and am eagerly anticipating more from you since your apparent move from the hard right to the far left.

I welcome the journey you must have taken along the Road to Damascus in breach of the nimby-pimby, namby-pamby, wishy-washy, oity-toity lockdown imposed on fellow comrades to help combat the spread of a slight sniffly cold. Remember, these stupid restrictions on our liberty come after 137,000 comrades in this country have died since 2020 after voting Labour or to remain in the EU. 

The government has done nothing to combat this very real menace and yet when one calls for thinking to be abolished, Labour Party voters to be interned in re-education camps and the EU to be bombed back to the Stoneage one is greeted by only half-hearted attempts by Boris Johnson to starve the Socialist poor to death and let money flood into the Conservative Party from suspected criminal fraudsters abroad who are being cruelly persecuted in their own countries for allegedly swindling their own people out of millions. Shame! 

I'm sure you didn't join the Army - part-time, admittedly - to stop foreigners buying up this country by stealth. Our beloved Queen, after all, is of German descent and has pots of money so what on earth is wrong with the right type of foreigner parking their cash here, so long as they pay for the privilege - allegedly? It's just those garlic-smelling, sausage-noshing, tank-reversing, surrender monkey non-billionaires who drive lorries, pick fruit and vegetables, serve in pubs, clubs, cafes and restaurants, deliver fuel and want peace to continue in Northern Ireland we want to keep out. Killing them all is apparently not legal due to some overbearing, laady-daa EU red tape! Yet another example of political correctness gone mad.

In closing comrade, I urge you to keep the flag flying and continue with a happy and healthy life on the Planet Zog - or whichever planet you live on.

Fraternal greetings,

Simon Hardy,

Wolverhampton,

ENGLAND!!!!!!

DES REPLIED THUS:

Thanks

In the Labour party ‘Comrade’ is a job

In ordinary parlance it is a term to describe persons who share a common endeavour!

DS.

I FURTHER RESPONDED:

So glad to know you share in the endeavours of The Guardian.

P.S. Are you SURE you want to be a nightclub