A media frenzy has blown up (do frenzies explode? Ed) over our beloved leader's decision to fuck off on holiday to Marbella as Blighty teeters on the brink of collapse, with supermarket shelves empty, petrol stations dry, a still raging killer epidemic, the poor facing starvation after the axing of the Universal Credit uplift AND the Brexit sausage war at its height.
There seems to be a consensus that the PM should not have abandoned us in our hour of greatest need but I see it differently and wanted to get a postcard to him.
Dear Boris,
Just a brief note to wish you all the best on your jollies and reassure you that UK Plc is doing fine - while it's 266lbs smarter.
Some silly naysayers are suggesting that packing your trunks and snorkel and going against the seemingly relentless tide of immigration to these shores was "ill judged". Ill judged? You!? Pish, posh, say I. Never!
You have being working tirelessly for more than two years now to right royally bollocks-up virtually everything in this country and you deserve a break - as indeed do we.
With that in mind I am going to set up two crowd funding pages to help. One will be to pay the £10,000-a-week cost of your holiday in Marbella with a view to enabling you to extend your vacation. Our initial goal is to raise £20 million.
The second fundraiser will have a similar target but will be used, when your time runs out on the Costa, to pay for you to enjoy an additional extended break in Florida........or The Maldives.......or Japan........or Russia........or Australia.........or.......or........ANYWHERE!
Hoping this doesn't find you as it leaves me,
Reg.
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