The Chocolate Fireguard and Other Great Ideas.

Within three years we may be able to book "air taxis" like The Jetsons did, it was revealed today.

The likes of Uber and Boeing have been busy building electric vertical take-off and landing (eVTOL) flying taxis away from prying eyes and it is predicted there will be 430,000 of them operating around the world by 2040.

California-based Joby Aviation is at the forefront of these developments and I thought they needed telling that they may have been wasting their lives:

Dear Sir or Madam,

This flying taxis idea? Wanna know something? It ain't never gunna work, no way!

Take me for instance. These things are basically helicopters, right? Well, how in the name of flying fishcakes are you supposed to land a chopper outside my house in a tautologically tree-lined avenue - especially if Marge over the way leaves her people carrier parked out on the street and the council are still digging up the road (which they have seemingly been doing since 1962)?

It may also surprise you to know that there is no helipad outside Sainsbury's in town and there will be too many customers lying blind drunk in the road outside the Duck and Gynaecologist for me to call one from there after closing.

As for hailing a cab in less densely populated, rural areas, what are we supposed to do? Carry distress flares around with us?

No, this will never get off the ground. As ideas go, it's about as good as recruiting Vanessa Feltz to safeguard the contents of your fridge!

Have you thought instead of developing a microchip which could be implanted into minicab drivers' brains, assuming they have any, which would prevent them from lying and coming up with purile excuses for lateness such as "There was traffic" or "You gave me the wrong address of your house"?

Regards,

Reg.