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Wednesday, 27 October 2021

Shorts Are Not The Only Things That Don't Matter.

Australian footballer Josh Cavallo has come out and announced to the world that he is gay.

The 21-year-old, who plays for Adelaide United (yeah, you'd wondered where you'd heard his name before), said he was tired of living a lie.

Wanna know something? I honestly couldn't give a rat's ass whether he penetrates women vaginally or sticks his penis up men's bottoms! Quite what that's that got to do with his ability to execute a quick one-two round an overlapping halfback I'm not sure. As the great Mr Dainty said of shorts, they're nothing to do with bloody football - or anything else for that matter!

https://youtu.be/lpuJBtcMMp8


Whether he screwed the shit out of a sheila or a Shaun the night before is nowt to me. You don't see people going round shouting "I hate eggs!", "I'm In the Tufty Club!" or "I think Morse is crap!" The reason? They're not important and no-one cares anyway!

I think it's just an obsession of media types. They can then run follow-ups about "My struggle being a badger", "I was suicidal because of my love of dressing up as a Japanese admiral" and "There just aren't enough people in management at the Post Office who are frog-transitioned".

It also gives journos the chance to scream "homophobe!", "sexist pig!" or "Fascist!" at anyone who says they don't identify others by their sexuality.

Commentators (not football!) automatically assume anyone who doesn't toe the "what a brave, oppressed soul" line must be against the given sexuality, never that they simply couldn't give a shit!

Just shut up about your sexuality or the sexuality of others will you! You're the only ones who fucking (pun intended) care!

Dear Josh,

I have to say I was totally uninterested to hear you have announced that you are homosexual.

I don't feel the need to tell everyone I'm heterosexual. My mate Colin doesnt go round telling everyone he bends both ways. Audrey down the road has never felt compelled to proclaim in Sainsbury's that she's a lesbian.

Do you get the idea? Not only is it of no relevance or importance, it is of no interest. Anyone who regards sexuality as a good way of defining someone is a shallow, misguided fool.

All the same, congratulations on having a recognisable sexuality. Welcome to the world. Now, play football.

Kindest regards,

Reg.

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