I'm Offended You're Offended!

 

Seriously, this is genuine!

This pre-programme warning nonsense on TV is bad enough to start with.

In my case, it's self-defeating because the moment I see a "Warning, this programme contains scenes which some viewers may find offensive" alert I AM offended! 

Jesus H Christ, I've actually seen these end-of-the-world-is-nigh proclamations before The Likely Lads and, wait for it, kids TV gameshow Runaround with Mike Reid!

How many times? YOU DO NOT HAVE A RIGHT NOT TO BE OFFENDED!

Likewise, is it absolutely necessary to warn the supposedly fragile viewing public that The Texas Chainsaw Massacre or Peter Sutcliffe - The Making of a Monster "contains scenes of blood and violence"? Oh really? I thought they would be comedy-musicals performed through the medium of modern dance? Fuck off!

My particular beef, however, centres on TV adverts by animal charities. They invariably carry footage and images of starving, cowering dogs, cats with arrows in their eyes, skin-and-bone, exhausted donkeys being whipped up hills, tigers dying in horrific traps, terrified bears being kept alone in tiny cages or orphaned rhinos trying to nuzzle up to their slaughtered, dismembered mothers.

I am a BIG animal lover and find such scenes very upsetting, a tad more so than fucking Mike Reid telling some pre-pubescent snotball he's "avin' a giraffe". Am I given a warning these horrifying REAL LIFE scenes of animal suffering are to follow? No! I just have to scramble for the remote to hit "mute" and then turn away from the telly!

I'm sure we don't need these scenes, or images of children starving to death, to learn that there are charities out there to help the sick, maimed, hungry and abused.

Oh, it's shock TV designed to spur people into action is it? Well, how come that's ok but a programme entitled "The Shocking Case of a Shocking Man Being Shocked to Death in an Electric Chair" requires a warning to prevent viewers being shocked by the content so fully detailed in the title?

I am legally obliged to preview this Blog with an "adult content" alert but that is only because I don't want some fucking bellend to be shocked when they learn a feed apparently about letter writing is in fact an anthology of abuse.

So, now you know.