A cross-party committee of MPs (yes, Labour AND Conservatives) working for the Parliamentary Commissioner for Standards conducted a two-year investigation into the activities of North Shrophire Tory MP Owen Paterson and concluded he had breached rules and should be suspended from the House of Commons.
Paterson had "repeatedly used his privileged position to benefit two companies for which he acted as a paid consultant".
So far, so bad.
Trouble is, when the Tories are in charge they ignore such rulings, witness their bullying Home Secretary, Not-so-Priti Patel. In Paterson's case, however, they are going the extra mile towards Fascism by wanting to change the rules and re-run the investigation until they get the result they want!
Hasn't anyone read Animal Farm? What the hell does it take to get these sleeze merchants booted out of office? Where is the opposition? Where is Sir Keir bloody Starmer?
Spearheading moves to change the goalposts and get greedy Paterson not only back in Parliament but exonerated is right wing loonbag MP and Brexiteer extraodinaire Andrea Leadsom.
Dear Ms Leadsom,
I understand that it was a tad embarrassing when your party pal Owen Paterson was caught out accepting payment for repeatedly trying to benefit two companies.
Likewise, I have to admit it was a tad embarrassing when I discovered my hair was falling out, my teeth were doing the same, I had achieved the specific mass of a black hole and these inconveniences made me, at best, a distant outsider for a spot on Love Island.
Thing is, I accepted it. I did not insist on a change to programming criteria whereby only bald, toothless, fat men were allowed to appear on reality TV shows.
You, on the other hand, seek to ignore the existing rules and instead get them changed until you achieve the outcome you desire. In this instance, you want feathering one's own nest to give certain firms an advantage by using your privileged position to be an acceptable standard of behaviour for MPs. It is not clear yet whether you want to make it compulsory?
What next? Scrapping the tiresome business of General Elections? How about just re-running General Elections until you win?
Then there is that annoying malarky of votes on legislation in the House. Wouldn't it be far better if the lobby against the Government was barred and bolted before the vote was taken?
In the meantime, might I suggest you do a few things:
1. Read Animal Farm by Eric Arthur Blair (no, nothing to do with your hero Tony).
2. When you've finished colouring that in read The Origins of Totalitarianism by Hannah Arendt.
3. Look up the word "standards".
4. Realise that you have been fundamentally wrong all your life and resign.
Hoping this helps,
Reg.
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