There are times when I'm forced to put a hand over one eye, blink wildly with the other, and scream: "What!?! You are fucking joking?!?" Well, this one really takes the biscuit - the dog biscuit.
A new television channel is in the pipeline.......specifically for dogs!!!! Oh God! Take me now!
Yes, DogTV will soon be with us and the brains (oh, perleease!) behind it say it has been scientifically tailored to relieve symptoms of separation anxiety, loneliness and stress.
Boffins have apparently spent three years creating programmes for this broadcasting bollocks and Prof. Nicholas Dodman is the evidently mentally unstable, finger-pointingly-laughable-at man who's office door will carry the sign "Chief Scientist for DogTV". He must be so proud.
Now I am possibly THE GREATEST dog lover in the world and I confess I often leave the TV on when I go out so my pack have music and human voices to listen to but...........well..........come on!
Do "they" SERIOUSLY think my husky will be able to tell the difference between Coronation Street and Fido's Fluffytime? Will my Staffy-cross really binge watch Sadie Sings Songs from The Shows because he's grown tired of the inner plasticity of the underlying metaphor behind Morse? What about my blind AND deaf chihuahua-cross? Will she actually notice the substitution of Come Dine With Me by Scratchy's Scratchy Time?
If all this were not enough to make you reach for the Prozac, "they" also plan to include human-hosted cookery shows featuring delicious dishes for dogs! What????????
No, DogsTV? - that dog don't hunt!
No comments:
Post a Comment